What I want to become.

These are just a few things that I long to be or that I feel that I am now. Hopefully the list will grow as I continue to Grow in God.

• Kind
• Gentle
• Self-Controlled
• Disciplined
• Generous
• Compassionet
• Virtuous
• Wise
• Joy
• Strength

Proverbs 31
10 Who£ can find a £virtuous wife?

For her worth is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

13 She seeks wool and flax,

And willingly works with her hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

She brings her food from afar.

15 She also rises while it is yet night,

And provides food for her household,

And a portion for her maidservants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

From her profits she plants a vineyard.

17 She girds herself with strength,

And strengthens her arms.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,

And her lamp does not go out by night.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her hand holds the spindle.

20 She extends her hand to the poor,

Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,

For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

22 She makes tapestry for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

And supplies sashes for the merchants.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing;

She shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,

And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She watches over the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many daughters have done well,

But you excel them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates

I read this verse and I feel like I am so far away from becoming this person.  The wonderful thing is though, that God is right beside me helping me become this person.  Step by Step, Day by Day He is with me helping become this person. 

Each day he is pruning me to become the person that He wants to become.  He loves me that much.  He is molding me and shaping me.  Here recently He is helping me and showing me what He has for me and helping me to receive it.  He is showing me love, mercy and grace.  He is my ABBA father, He is my Daddy Father. 

The other night I had what my husband calls "a Nuclear Meltdown."  It was far worse that I could have ever imagine.  It was like something snapped in me.  I couldn't control anything.  God took that moment and shaped it into something I couldn't ever have imagine.  I was in bed and cried like a baby on my husband shoulders.  I told him everything Lie I had ever believe or felt about my self.  It was something that I need to do and I had felt God telling me to, but couldn't get myself to let go enough to do it.

I am on my way to becoming that person, God is with me helping me.  I am on my way!!!