Alone with my thoughts.

I am alone with my thoughts right now.  My husband is surfing the internet doing so research.  (This isn't a good thing usually. Me alone with my thoughts.)


I have this bad habbit of analizing everything. Everything I say everything I do.  I beat myself up.  I don't need anyone else to, I do it enough for everyone.

I have been reading a book called Captivating. I definitly recommend this book to anyone.  It bascially helps us understand how God made us and how he finds us Captivating.  How He created us to desire him and how as women we look to our men to fill this place and it is for God to fill not anyone else.  Like I said it is a great book.

I am learning and trying to put so many principles that I have learned over this last year in to practise.  Practise makes perfect.  That is what we have always been told anyway.  I am trying to learn to lean back and trust God.  That I can truly count on some one and it is him.  People are flawed.  Everyone I love and hold dear are flawed.  It is inevitable that They are going to fail me.  Truth be told, they have.  Some have failed me in some major ways.  I am learning to walk forgiveness, to forgive them, and forgive myself. 

Also in this book it talks about things that we have grown up believing lies that I have believed about myself.  Some of them were spoken and other were not.  I drew some to conclusions my self.  I am processing them and I am not sure how much i am going to share. 

Just know that God really does love you.  He has your best in mind.  No, His ways aren't our ways (Isiah 55:8-9).  So we don't always understand them. 

He had a plan for you life.  It is not to destroy you, but to "prosper you, to give you a hope and a future".(Jeremiah 29:11)

He wants to heal you and set you free from the thoughts and baggage that has you bound.  Just seek him with all of you heart and He will do it.  "He Heals the Brokenhearted and bind up their wounds."(Psalm 147:3)

Our heart is what God wants. He longs for us to fall in love with him.  To want to spend time with him like we do our friends and family.  He is constantly doing things in our lives to show us.  Ask God to show you today what He is doing in your life today.  How is he trying to get your attention?  What little ways is he trying to show us his love?  That is what I am asking him to show me.