Here is my problem, when I am not working out or trying to lose weight I NEVER get on the scale. I mean NEVER. I avoid it like the plague. Then when I am trying to lose weight, I become obsessed with it. I get on it every day and even multiple times a day. I get frustrated because it fluctuates. I it a never ending process.
I am baning my self from the scale until next week. I weighted Sunday. So I can't weigh until next Sunday. I kind of have a problem with the I want it now syndrome. Do you remember the little girl from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"? I think her name was Bianca. I remember in one part of the movie she would whine "But I want it now daddy!" That is how I feel about by weightloss. I want to see results and I want to see them NOW! I keep having to tell myself "You didn't gain this weight over night and you aren't going to lose it over night." It is the truth. So one goal at a time one step at time. It will happen with time.
I have made the most important step I have started doing something about it. That is the hardest step. That and sticking with it. Part of me is afraid {fear} that we won't stick with it and that I will gain it all back. {we have done this so many times} I hoping to stick with it.
I feel trapped and ashamed of my body. I want to be able to get out and run, play and bike with my kids. Go hiking if we feel like it, or play sports, but I don't want to right now because of how big I am. It is just the way I feel.
I feel ashamed because I need to lose a whole person. I need to lose about 150 pounds. It just seems so overwhelming.
I know this is a rambling post. I just wanted to let y'all now where I was. I am sticking with it right now. We are working on week three of P90X and Shakeology. I love the Shakeology!
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