Workout even when you don't want to.

Lately I have been battling this kind of melancholy attitude toward things.  I think it is something that I have always battled.  I am so afraid of failure that I often times just don't try anything or I give up.  Some of that dpends on what your definition of failure is.  I define failure as not doing something perfectly, or as good as some body else, or the standards that the person I am doing whatever for. My husbands definition of failure is comepletly differnt.  He defines it as giving up or not finishing.  He said "If I do my best, I never fail!"  So I am trying to reconcile my definition to him definition.  I am working one it.

I really just want to give up some days, but I can't afford to.  I have to do this for myself, to know that I can accmplish something.  I have to do this for my husband and kids, so that I can have a long life and enjoy my time with them as much as a can.

So my advice to you and myself is to workout even when you don't feel like it. I feel better after I workout.  It is the whole self-discpline thing. It know this is going to tranfer over into other areas of my life.

I am trying to learn as much about nutirtion and excerise as I can, so that I can continue on this journey.  I need to be educated about what I am putting in my body.  Here I am pushing on and doing what I can.

My workout today kicked my butt.  It was tough and hard, but everyday I am growing stronger.  I am able to do more each day and each week.  I am looking forward to the day when I don't have to pause the video to catch my breath.  Where I can to all of the excerises.  There are somethings I can't do because I am so heavy.  I feel trapped by my body.  I won't always be at this weight.

This is a journey and a process.  I am taking one step and a time and trying to enjoy each step.  I am on my way. 

I guess I need this post to help lift me up. I hope it does the same for you.  You can to whatever you put your mind to, but it may not happen over night.